LDS Myths About Drinking

Here is some practical advice for any former LDS trying to figure out alcohol.  Seriously, I wish I had a guide like this before I ordered my first drink.

LDS and Alcohol

First, it's worth recognizing the myths that LDS folks are told to scare us away.

Myth 1: For a non-drinker, one drink will get you drunk... and a good chance of being addicted.
Yeah, this one really is taught to LDS and it's so silly. I remember as a youth being taught these stories about boys that went to parties with no intention of drinking, they are then forced to drink once and then they turn into alcoholics. 

Reality 1: you will likely get to feel a pleasant buzz on your first drink. It's a nice feeling. Enjoy it. I assure you you'll be fine. Stop at one drink if you want. It feels good.

Myth 2: Most people are addicted to alcohol.

Reality 2: This simply isn't true. I've had plenty of drinks now with lots of friends and I can assure you this isn't true. Some people are indeed alcoholics, current science shows that the age when you start drinking has a huge factor in this along with some genetic influence.  I.e. if your relatives are predisposed and you start drinking at a young age, be careful.

Keep it social and/or on the weekends and I'm sure you'll be fine.

Myth 3: once you feel the "buzz" you are drunk. 
Reality 3:  No, the buzz precedes being drunk. It's an entirely pleasant feeling.  This is what people call the "social lubricant" from drinking.  Conversation is free, everyone at the table or bar begins to feels a camaraderie  It's really nice.

Warning! While you aren't drunk, that doesn't mean you can legally drive folks. Because drunk people are too dumb to know when they are under the influence, the legal limit has been lowered to a bare minimum. If you feel a good buzz and you need to drive, stop drinking (drink water) and plan on sticking around for a while and talk to your neighbors.

Myth 4: Order of alcohol strength - "hard" alcohol, beer, wine.
Reality 4: Generally speaking, one mixed drink, one glass of wine and one beer all will contain the same amount of alcohol when you take in volume.  Distilled alcohol like vodka, gin, etc. have a much higher content but they only pour an ounce or two into a drink. Wine is next in alcohol strength (about 12%) but a glass is half as much as a beer (which are about 6%) by volume.

Make sense?  

Myth 5: Hard alcohol is scary stuff.
Reality 5: See Reality 4.

Myth 6: Bars inevitably have drunks in them just like the movies.
Reality 6: This just isn't true.  Most bars are filled with people just like you (well mostly like you, maybe not ex-mormon though) out to have a good time with new and old friends. Even people that have too much to drink are just having a good time.  There are some bars (commonly called "dive bars" incidentally) where I've seen people at the bar just to drink like in movies. I've seen that very rarely.

Myth 7: The spirit leaves you at the door.
Reality 7: Lol, we all know this is silliness.  I still want to comment on this though.  Now that I've been out for a while and been drinking with friends on many occasions, I can now see that statements like this by LDS people are really in poor taste and filled with somewhat insufferable hubris. Basically if you believe this that means that you think all your coworkers and non-member friends are wicked and evil when the truth is that they are just inviting you and other friends to partake in a completely normal social setting.

When Mormons find out that Jehovah's Witnesses don't have birthday parties, they think that is the silliest thing ever.  In a very similar spin, when non-Mormons find out that Mormons won't even enter into a place where they serve alcohol for an after work social hour, they think it is almost as silly.

Myth 8:  People drink as "an excuse for social interaction" or because they want to escape. Or drinking is for depressed folks, etc. 
Reality 8:  I've heard this said a thousand times in LDS church and I used to say it myself.  It basically implies that real social interaction is better without alcohol, otherwise you are just trying to avoid people.  This is so far from the truth though.  So far I've found myself and others willing to connect on a much more emotional and meaningful level when we are drinking socially together. We share our fond memories, our hard times, our desires and passions and a hell of a lot of laughter and happiness.

Myth 9:  Joseph Smith and Brigham Young knew drinking was bad.
Reality 9:  Sorry to burst this one but Joseph didn't refuse alcohol... he had his own bar in Nauvoo.  And Brigham Young had his own brewery and they sold their beer in the Beehive store. Oh and while we're at it, wine during Jesus' day did indeed have alcohol in it.  I'm sorry, I'm not trying to crush you but it's a fact. That scene at the wedding when Jesus was said to have made water into wine?  Yeah, nobody would have said that he "saved the best until last" about grape juice.


Quick hits:
Alcohol burns the mouth? Drinking straight distilled alcohol "burns" in a sense as if it was menthol (only way stronger) so that it clears the nose and throat. Get a mixed drink and sip it and you'll be just fine.

Alcohol tastes bad? Some yes and some no, I'll explain this better in the advice post but the important answer is that there is a taste for everyone.

I'll get seduced if I go to a bar? Heehee, no. You might get hit on though. Chalk it up as a compliment.

Can I, should I go to a bar alone? I wouldn't simply because you have no way of having a friend watch out for whether you've had too much to drink and/or pace you. 

What are shots? I'll explain that in the next post.

Is drinking really that fun? LDS teach it as such a rotten experience

Yes, drinking can, honest to goodness, be a lot of fun.  Let's be safe and I'll tell you all about it. Just remember that the church has a lot of reasons to make sure they teach you to stay away from alcohol. It can be a problem if it isn't consumed safely.  For some people, it can become an emotional and physical crutch.  

But that isn't what alcohol is about and there is no reason you should avoid it out of fear.


OK, now on to the advice (in my next post)